The News

To me, it’s all fake. That’s where my problem is. I don’t know who to to trust. I listen to national news in the evening and then do a half hour research on the internet to form my own opinion. An hour a day, for me, is enough. Mark and I will discuss briefly certain events (he keeps me balanced) and I’m done. My friends, Carlo & Mike, help me focus on the world so I keep a broader view of the planet and don’t become isolated in my thinking. That focus has helped.


Dhaka, Bangladesh – Hope and Remembrance from Nihilism

“It was my unspoken promise to Ishrat never to allow that to happen to our staff and colleagues.” Said Carlo Nino. “The gates made of steel and iron couldn’t possibly be stronger than the friendshi…

Source: Dhaka, Bangladesh – Hope and Remembrance from Nihilism



I think about suicide a lot. I told my shrink who was alarmed until I assured I wasn’t going to do it. I just think it wouldn’t be such a bad idea. No one needs me and most of the time I feel, yes, it would be easier for everyone if they didn’t have to think about me in their lives anymore. I enjoy life. I enjoy MY life so I know I’m not going to act on any suicidal thoughts I may have. I do think about it though. Not every day, but do have a fleeting thought a few times a week. The thoughts come at the strangest times. The other day it was coming back from a walk with my dog, I thought, “Could you end it now?” And then, “No. Who would take care of Jane (My chihuahua)?” I test my feelings like taking my temperature. I’ve promised my doctor I’ll call if I need her and I mean it. I take medication for anxiety and depression and have for over 20 years. I know several people who handle their depressive episodes without meds and they prefer it that way for a variety of reasons. I can’t imagine having to fight so hard every single day to pull yourself out of the rabbit hole. I’ve been depressed and thinking about suicide since I was 12 and went on meds when I was 50. I’m now 72. Thirty eight years of bad depressive episodes with no meds and no suicide. Yes, it can be done but it’s so exhausting.That’s when suicide was in the forefront of my mind constantly but I still knew I woudln’t go through with it. I gave up my artistic mania to not be tired. I miss the mania but don’t miss having to fight so hard. I understand being suicidal so well.

Dive in!

Looking for the perfect form of exercise? It may be time to get off the land and into the water. Of course, as with any exercise regimen, you should consult your doctor before beginning.

Exercise in general – at least 30 minutes a day is recommended – can help ease depression, enhance self-image, relieve stress and, of course, improve your health. Swimming and water aerobics offer a host of benefits other forms of exercise can’t.

Why Swimming?

  • When immersed in water, your body weight is significantly reduced: just 50 percent of its weight in waist-high water, and only 10 percent of its weight in neck-high water.
  • Because your body weight is reduced in water, it means there’s less stress on your joints when you’re in the water.
  • Swimming and water activities are low impact, making them great for people with arthritis, or those recovering from certain types of surgery or injuries.
  • In the water, there’s very little risk of falls or injuries.
  • Swimming is an aerobic exercise, meaning it can help strengthen the heart.
  • Because water is denser than air, every movement in the pool becomes a resistance exercise, improving muscle strength! Swimming has also been shown to improve bone strength.
  • Swimming and water aerobics use a broad range of motion, helping to keep joints and muscles loose and flexible.
  • Swimming is also a great calorie burner for those looking to lose weight.
  • Like yoga, water activities can be very relaxing as well and help produce a positive outlook.

Get in the Water

While swimming may conjure images of going back and forth between two ropes in the pool, water aerobics is just as beneficial. What is water aerobics? Just imagine an aerobics class in water! There’s music, movement and props, such as various floatation devices – and there are classmates to enjoy the experience with.

If all this has you ready to make a splash, the next step is to find a pool or water aerobics class near you. For those without their own backyard or community pool, many options abound. Here are a few places to find pools and classes near you:

  • Join a gym with a pool. Many gyms offer senior discounts. Gyms with pools will usually have open lap hours as well as water aerobics classes.
  • Community centers and community colleges often offer swimming and water aerobics classes at reasonable prices. You may get a catalog of classes in the mail, or you may need to call or go online to peruse the latest offerings.

With its many benefits and virtually no drawbacks, swimming may indeed be the perfect exercise. Classes also offer an opportunity to meet new people, making it a social activity as well. Whether you’re a beginner or born fish, there has never been a better time to dive in!


Travel w/ Mother


Mother has transition issues when anything at all upsets her daily routine. Always has since the Alz started. Her sundowning worsens, she’s more agitated and cranky, she has night terrors and crying spells. It takes anywhere from a few days to a few weeks to get back to normal. But I think it’s worth it for her and for me as well. I take pictures of her adventures and she pours over them several times a day. It helps a lot. I wouldn’t take those experiences away from her….. ever!

Mother is has entered stage 7 of her Alzhiemer’s journey and travels no more.  She’s too weak and her confusion too bad to do anything but go for short shopping trips.  Eating out has gotten difficult as well since her patience has totally disappeared.  We stay home now. She doesn’t miss leaving home at all.  As a matter of fact, she doesn’t like leaving.